Just in case there wasn’t already enough crazy packed into this week — Bert and Ernie being gay, and all that — the folks at Westboro Baptist Church decided to announce that Taylor Swift is a whore.
Yes, that’s right: THE WHORISH FACE OF DOOMED AMERICA, the pop-country star formerly known as Taylor Swift, has been guilty of “hopping from one young man to the next and strutting across the world stage like a proud whore,” according to the WBC press release. The Topeka, Kansas, church founded by 84-year-old Pastor Fred Phelps, has become notorious for protesting against the sins they declare are leading America to Hell.
Some people have classified WBC as a “hate group” because of their focus on homosexuality, but it turns out that God also hates the heterosexual sins committed by “fornicating” young singer-songwriters like the 23-year-old Grammy winner who is henceforth to be known as THE WHORISH FACE OF DOOMED AMERICA.
Did we mention that Taylor recently cut her hair in bangs — like a whore?
Anyway, while bringing their hard-core message to the world, it appears that the Westboro folks have gotten savvy about using online social media to spread their crazy-gospel message. Their press release uses her Twitter handle @TaylorSwift13 to refer to THE WHORISH FACE OF DOOMED AMERICA, and suggests a way she might seek redemption for her sinful fornication:
She is wildly popularly, especially among young ladies, with over 29 [million] followers on Twitter, and thus a giant platform. One simple tweet from her — “Stop fornicating ladies, and obey God” — would rock the house. But it would cost her millions she makes with her sin-coddling songs. Taylor Swift uses the talent God gave her to warble about fornication, instead of warning her fellow man of the coming destruction. She worships @BarackObama and @FLOTUS, either unmindful of, uncaring about, or in complete agreement with their blood-soaked handiwork (supporting killing babies and marrying fags).
So there you have it: Knock it off with the “sin-coddling songs,” stop worshipping Barack Obama, and use your Twitter platform to tell those ladies to stop fornicating. Otherwise, you’re just THE WHORISH FACE OF DOOMED AMERICA.
And all God’s children say, “Amen.”
P.S.: Seriously, girl, get rid of those bangs. Westboro Baptist Church didn’t say that but … yuck. That new haircut is as ugly as sin. God hates fags, and I hate bangs.
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When she was dating one of the Kennedy clan, she bought a mansion on Martha's Vineyard close to his family place. Probably $25 million or more, just to be close to him.
That's not a whore, that's a stalker! And my kind of stalker, to boot - young, rich, and free-spending!
I remember reading that she had had 13 boyfriends in 3 years, and thinking that the only people that have more than that in that kind of timeframe are either in high school, are prostitutes, or are gay males.
Taylor Swift got screwed by a Kennedy in Hyannis Port, but she made out well in the end.
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